


What A Time

by Riot_Of_Roses12



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mild Smut, Moving On, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Unrequited Love, Years Later, Young Love, im gay, need me some olives, running on low pickle juice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-09 01:18:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17992091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riot_Of_Roses12/pseuds/Riot_Of_Roses12
Summary: Before Luther and Allison, there was Vanya and Allison.And Vanya knew Allison held all her broken parts, blew all her worries away with a simple touch.Back then, Vanya wasn't so ordinary in Allison's eyes.(Before the whole Apocalypse, years ago)//Formally known as When We Were Young//





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> First work in this fandom, as always please enjoy. A review is always welcomed!

Before Luther, there was Vanya.

 

Ordinary Vanya with her long chestnut hair and dark brown eyes that captivated Allison at one point. (Of course Vanya will feel the sting later on when Allison no longer has her eyes on her).

 

It first began when they were thirteen.

 

When Allison came back with everyone else from a bank robbery, Vanya was there. Standing by the doorway of her bedroom, her brows creased with worry as her adoptive sister was covered a little scratches and bruises.

 

“I’m fine. I had a scuffle with Klaus because he wouldn’t shut up.” She said, removing her mask as she closed the door behind her. Allison flung her mask to her dresser, flopping down her bed as Vanya stood there.

 

“You can sit if you want. I don’t bite.” Smiling shyly, Vanya hesitantly sunk into her bed.

 

Allison watched her sister’s every move. She looked fragile sitting there, as if there was a mystery dancing behind her onyx eyes. Her skin was pale and translucent, Allison didn’t doubt Vanya could be standing in a room full of people and nobody would notice her.

 

Her eyes then traced lower, past the dip of her cheek bones and down to her nose and lips. Vanya’s lips. To her chestnut hair ran past her shoulders and slim nimble fingers that fidgeted.

 

Her throat went dry.

 

“Are you okay?” Vanya’s soft voice floated to her ears, pulling Allison back to reality. Her cheeks suddenly flushed red from embarrassment.

 

She’d been caught staring.

 

“Yeah… I’m fine. How was your study?”

 

\--

 

Vanya knew from then she’d have to tell herself no.

 

It didn’t matter if Allison was staring or not (she hoped it was exactly what she thought). She knew herself it was wrong to have weird feelings in her stomach for her sister.

 

 _‘Adopted sister.’_ Her mind whispered. _Shut up._

 

She was laying in her own bed, chewing her lip as she shifted to another position.

 

It was a restless night for her.

 

It had been a week since _that_ happened. Her gaze fell to her dresser where Allison’s necklace hung, a gift she had received for her birthday -everyone’s birthday in fact- a heart shaped sapphire that hung on a silver chain.

 

Vanya’s cheeks burned bright red. There it was again.

 

A weird fluttery feeling danced just below her stomach, a feeling she always got thinking about Allison.

 

 _Oh no._ Had she been ‘rumored’ by Allison? Was she cursed to feel this whenever she thought of Allison? Was this her punishment for eating the last chocolate pudding Mom/Grace had left out?

 

Springing up from her bed, Vanya felt her blood go cold.

 

She’d go to Father! He’d tell Allison to reverse it and she’d be free from this horrible gut feeling! That was it, it would go away and-

 

“Vanya!”

 

Vanya froze as her bedroom door swung open and there stood Allison, in her pajamas.

 

“Are you okay? I heard you shuffling and moving. Are you having another nightmare?” She frowned as she stepped in, closing the door behind her.

 

“I-I… yeah.” Her face felt hot lying to her as Allison nodded and sat down on her bed.

 

“I’ll sleep with you tonight.” Allison spoke in a way where Vanya had no authority to refuse her.

 

Swallowing the lump in her throat she nodded.

 

“Okay.” She said quietly as she shuffled into her bed, her heart slamming into her throat.

 

She’d throw up any minute.

 

“Come here.” Allison demanded as she scooted closer to Vanya.

 

Her arms snaked over the paler girl and Vanya froze.

 

She could feel Allison’s body heat through her clothes, the weird feeling increasing as her heart rate picked up faster.

 

Her heart was drumming violently in her rib cage and she wondered if she’d burst any second.

 

Vanya slowly turned around to see her. Their eyes met for a brief second, and the world held its breath as Vanya could feel her own breath hitch. Her eyes felt heavy.

 

Allison’s eyes locked with the violinist and slowly she leaned in.

 

Their noses bumped into each other before their lips met in the middle.

 

Allison’s lips were soft and sweet, melting her into a pile of goo as she could feel her running her hands through her jet black hair. The tingly sensation only got stronger at the pit of her stomach and Vanya was buzzing with excitement. Allison had entangled their legs together while her other hand slowly began trailing throughout Vanya’s body.

 

Vanya could feel herself loosing it. 

 

\--

 

A jolt went through Vanya and suddenly sunlight was streaming through her window.

 

Gathering her senses took a minute before she realized; _it was just a dream._

 

Disappointment sunk into her bones as shook her head and rubbed her eyes. It was wrong to have such feelings for her sister, but to dream about doing something like that? It made her feel shameful.

 

How would her father react if he saw what she was thinking about? How would the rest of her siblings react?

 

Vanya decided to just forget what happened and pretend everything was okay.

 

Sighing, she turned to her right and froze.

 

Allison laid peacefully sleeping by her side, sunlight slowly shone on her figure as her chest rose and fell.

 

Vanya blushed bright red. Panic blooming in her chest.

 

_It wasn’t a dream._

 


	2. Two

And then it started. With the gentle brushes of their fingers and the secret soft smiles that their brothers always tried to decipher, there was Vanya and Allison.

 

_ “What are you guys hiding?” _

 

_ “Nothing! Go away Klaus!” _

 

_ “Uh hu. I know you’re up to something Allison! You two are always staring at each other like you got a secret code we can’t know about. Did dad put you guys up to this? Because Vanya doesn’t have any powers! She’s basically useless in any mission!” _

 

_ “C’mon Klaus, leave them alone.” Ben said, frowning.  _

 

_ Vanya blushed bright red, her cheeks were aflame and every part of her was buzzing like she swallowed bees. She saw Ben spare her a look before dragging Klaus out Allison’s bedroom. _

 

_ Finally alone, Allison held her gently but nothing could erase the thin line that formed on her lips. _

 

_ ‘Useless’. _

 

-

Sneaking after bedtime towards the green house in the attic, stargazing out of Vanya’s window, they shared their hopes and dreams after the academy.

 

_ “What’s that?” _

 

_ “Big Dipper. And if you look to your downwards left, you’ll see Orion’s Belt.” _

 

_ Allison looked at her for a second and smiled widely. “You’re amazing at finding all these constellations!” _

 

_ Vanya nervously chuckled, scratching the back of her neck. Allison wrapped her arms around the shorter girl, resting her chin on top of her head. _

 

_ They enjoyed each other’s silence. _

 

_ “Do you know what your gonna do after the academy?” Vanya side glanced at her. _

 

_ “Maybe a violinist.” She shrugged. “You?” _

 

_ “Actress! It’s been my life goal to be famous and admired, be the envy of the ball.” Allison giggled as Vanya grinned and planted a gentle kiss on the taller girl’s cheek. _

 

_ Allison was too cute and she couldn't help but marvel at her in awe. _

 

-

Kissing her gently, Vanya never dared to push for more. Never pushed past pinning Allison against the bathroom door when the rest of their siblings were out.

 

_ Allison had come back seriously beat up from another mission and Vanya was there. _

 

_ Shaking. _

 

_ Fear crawled up her throat as she feverishly kissed Allison, like it was the last thing she’d do. _

 

_ Slamming the bathroom door, she pinned the taller girl against the white tiled wall. _

 

_ She could feel Allison pressing herself harder against her hips. The bathroom light flickered above them, butterflies began swarming just below her stomach and Vanya’s lips tingled. _

 

_ “I’m all right V. I’m right here.” Allison whispered into her lips as Vanya’s hands desperately held her hips in place. _

 

_ Her heart was drumming rapidly as a fire began to spread through her being. _

 

_ What the hell was this feeling? _

 

_ “I thought I was going to lose you Allison. You guys were gone for hours and Pogo wouldn’t tell me anything.” She said, pulling back and watching the darker girl’s eyes sparkle. _

 

_ Allison opened her mouth for a second, fiddling with Vanya’s hair before taking a deep breathe _

_   
_ _ “Vanya?” _

 

_ The paler girl looked back at Allison. “Yeah?” _

 

_ “Vanya… I love you.”  _

  
  


-

 

Was that it?

 

Was that how it all slowly began to end?

 

Three months in and Vanya’s head spun with her adoptive sister’s words ringing through her ears.

 

_ “I love you.” _

 

Those three words. Those damn three words that left her falling and reeling and she wondered if she was able to catch Allison before it was too late.

 

Two weeks.

 

It took Vanya two weeks to work up the nerve to face Allison after she embarrassingly ran out the bathroom, ignoring the way Allison’s face crumbled.

 

The memory was engraved into her head and she vowed never to make her feel like that again.

 

Vanya made her mind up Friday afternoon when everyone was home.

 

Diego was hanging out with Grace/Mom while Ben and Klaus were around causing havoc in every room. Five was bothering dad and Luther was nowhere to be found. 

 

She gripped her necklace tightly, standing outside Allison’s door. Her heart began racing as her hand slowly inched forward, turning the rusted door knob Five once broke teleporting near the door. 

 

The door slowly creaked open as Vanya peaked an onyx eye through the small gap where she saw Allison sitting in bed.

 

With Luther.

 

Their faces inches apart as Luther was holding her hand gently, whispering so softly she almost couldn’t hear him.

 

_ “... love you. I’ve always had.” _

 

Vanya froze. Did she hear him correctly?

 

Allison bit her lip, her eyeing the ring on her finger as Luther laced their hands together. Vanya could feel her contemplating, thinking, working on an idea. 

 

_ Please don’t. Don’t say it. Not yet, I’m not done! I love you too!  _ Vanya’s mind screamed at her to move, to step inside the room and say something but she stood there shocked and empty.

 

“I love you too.” 

 

Thunder cracked and the lights went out.

 

Then there was Luther. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone whose reviewed and all my silent readers who are waiting on me. There is more to come


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She'd always be too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Whew, this is the hardest I've ever worked in my life. I think I deserve some digital pickles and olives guys. Anyways, enjoy!

Then there was Luther and Allison.

 

Luther and his stupid smirk and baby blue eyes. Luther and his big warm hands that held Allison tightly around her waist.

 

He wasn’t gentle. He wasn’t afraid to push either.

 

He was rough around the edges unlike Vanya. 

 

After every mission they both stayed cooped up in his room doing god knows what.

 

Vanya hated it. But she had no one else to blame but herself. She was too late.

 

Guilty, she spared every glance she could at Allison during dinner and lunch but it did nothing to help. Allison ignored her presence and began sharing secret smiles with Luther.

 

_ That was our thing. _

 

They would laugh and giggle, have secret sleepovers, brush their hands against one another when Vanya oversaw their training with their dad.

 

Vanya could feel herself become an empty shell of her former self. Everything that ever was complete because of Allison, slowly began to shatter and disappear. The necklace she had gifted Vanya was stored away in one of her sock drawers, forever there to collect dust. 

 

The glint in her eyes faded, now dull.

 

-

Ben noticed. He tried helping her for months, talking to her, coaxing her to open up to him, but she refused. He wasn’t Allison and he would never be her.

 

“I know something is upsetting you Vanya. You haven’t even touched you violin in weeks.” He knelt beside her, brushing her strands away from her face. Ben found her on the floor crying and he laid by her, his brows creased with worry.

 

Vanya hugged her knees tighter, clenching her jaws. She tried to forget walking in on Luther and Allison kissing on Luther's bed.

 

“I’m fine Ben.” She said.

 

“Please tell me. I want to help you. Is this... because of Allison and Luther?”

 

Vanya let out a gasp, the ache in her chest throbbed painfully as she sobbed into her hands. “ _ Leave me the hell alone Ben _ !” She yelled in his face. Vanya watched her words slap him in his face.

 

“I’m sorry. I’ll come get you when it’s time for supper.” He said as he got up and closed the door behind him gently.

 

Regret would soon follow once he shut the door but Vanya was too furious to care. How dare he try to understand something he never felt?

 

Her hands balled into fists and the lights flickered.

 

Stupid light bulb. 

 

That was the last she had an actual conversation with him before Five disappeared.

 

Then Ben was gone from their lives.

 

Vanya never got to apologize.

 

-

“We gather here today, to celebrate the memory of Master Ben Hargreeves. A young man whose life was tragically taken from us too soon.” Pogo’s voice rasped out. 

 

It was quiet, except for the gentle patter of the rain falling down.

 

Everyone was outside. Or at least the remaining five Hargreeves that stood with downcast looks to the ground.

 

Vanya’s hands trembled as she glanced at Klaus who was hit the hardest with the news.

 

His eyes were rimmed red, grinning softly as he clutched to the vase were Ben’s ashes laid.

 

“Would anyone like to say a few words?” Pogo looked around and Klaus spoke up. 

 

“I’d just like to say some words. Ben was an amazing brother. He… always talked me out of drugs. Well mostly the hard stuff, but nonetheless, always had my back. He was my partner in crime. I remember that one time we trashed dad’s library room and got in trouble. We had to spent the whole day cleaning up. You’ll be missed asshole… thanks a lot for leaving me alone in the land of living.” 

 

Diego let out a rough chuckle as Luther frowned but stayed close to Allison.

 

Allison. 

 

Vanya’s heart ached. It had been four years, but the feelings were still there. Still lingering.

 

Allison sniffled and wiped her tears away, hugging herself as the rain kept falling.

 

Her attention was brought back to the shiny new statue of Ben, forever young in their minds. He wouldn’t grow up with them, wouldn’t live his dream goal to becoming a proud owner of a library, no matter how cheesy Klaus made it sound. The statue gave no justice to Ben’s kind eyes and warm smile.

 

She wished she could apologize to him, but she was too late.

 

She’d always be too late.

 

The small funeral ended and everyone went back inside. Silence. The Hargreeves Mansion no longer echoed with Klaus’s laughter followed by Ben’s scolding voice.

 

Ben was the glue that held most of the family together, so what were they now that he was gone? What had they been since Five left? 

 

Allison was leaving. Diego was planning to leave the moment he hit eighteen. Luther was only sticking around because of dad. Diego had called him dad’s ‘loyal soldier’.

 

What was Vanya going to do?

 

“Allison wait. Please.” Vanya ran downstairs, just as she saw Allison was walking out with her luggage in hand. 

 

“What?” She paused, seconds from stepping out the door. It had been the first time she spoke to her in ages.

 

She needed to say it. Just once, Vanya didn’t know when she’d find the courage to say ever again but Allison needed to hear her side. She wanted Allison to understand why she didn’t say  _ it,  _ why she had been so scared to share her own feelings _.  _

 

“I’m- I’m sorry… about everything and for running away, for being a coward. I didn’t know what we were or what we were doing. All I knew is that I liked it and I wanted to keep doing whatever we were doing but I was afraid. You made me feel things I had never felt and it frightened me. Please Allis-”

 

She cut her off.

 

“Vanya… I really don’t want to hear it. Whatever you thought we had is long gone. It’s over. I don’t want your apologies Vanya. We’re all going through a period of mourning and I can’t handle this. I can’t handle you or Luther right now. Not when we’ve all lost Ben. It isn’t right, so please… keep it to yourself.” She said, her voice cracked at the end as her eyes lowered to ground but the grip on her handle stayed strong.

 

“Goodbye.” Allison was firm in her decision and Vanya watched her walk out the door. 

 

That was the last time she saw her.

 

For now at least.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there might be another chapter before I close off this story for good. What do you guys think? Reviews are welcomed!


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